NEW SCIENCE FICTION BOOK TRAILER FOR THE TURTAN TRILOGY

*** Thanks to Kevin Hopson for this striking, dramatic trailer for my trilogy.  I hope you enjoy it.

THE TURTAN TRILOGY – Five Star Reviews – 932 Pages – “Great action keeps you reading late into the night.”
#Scifi #Space #Superhero #Extraterrestrial #Alien #Romance

The Cen, a cruel alien race, has attacked humanity and only one man can save it. Turtan, an Inspector of the Cross Empire, travels in suspended animation to distant worlds in search of a weapon or device that can defeat the enemy and end the brutal five-thousand-year war. Because he travels in frozen sleep, this elite agent is technically four thousand years old and has outlived many lovers and generations of his children. It is a painful and terrible burden, but duty comes first and always he must move on. His mission is rendered even more difficult by his own leaders who sometimes oppose his selfless quest to save humanity.

AVAILABLE AT:

Amazon.com: lrd.to/Turtan-Trilogy
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STELLA HAUNTS ME!

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I’m lying in bed next to my wife when Stella McMasters lifts the covers and slips in beside me. She taps my chin.

“When are you going to do it?” she asks.

I glance over to see if Stella has awakened Jane. My wife usually takes a dim view of me sleeping with two women at the same time. Fortunately, she’s snoring.

I turn back. “Going to do what?” I ask.

She snuggles closer. “Tell the rest of my story.”

I sigh, for she’s asked this before. Stella’s the cyborg heroine I created in Beyond Those Distant Stars, a SF action-adventure romance published by Mundania Press (http://tinyurl.com/74a6zqp). Twice I’ve tried to write a sequel, Star Warrior, but I’ve been stymied each time by my friends’ substantial and valid criticisms.

I try to brazen it out. “Listen, honey, you’re my creation, and it’s up to me to continue your story or not.”

This doesn’t fly. Stella’s face hardens, and she raises a fist. Two-thirds of her body is synthetic, and she could crush me with a single blow. “I rule an empire of a thousand worlds,” she says, “and I’ve got enemies who want to destroy me. Hell, there’s enough for a whole boatload of books. I can be an even bigger hero than Miles.”

That’s Miles Vorkosigan, the creation of the multiple prize-winning SF author Lois McMaster Bujold, whose name inspired Stella McMasters’ name. “Look,” I say, “I tried twice to continue your saga, but my writers’ group found too many implausibilities.”

Stella gives me a chaste kiss, which is unlike the passionate ones she gave her unfaithful lover in Beyond Those Distant Stars. “Screw the implausibilities. Just write it.” She smiles. “I feel great adventures ahead of me. New challenges, new men, new triumphs and revelations. Sweetie, my saga is just getting started.”

My name isn’t Sweetie, but I don’t tell her that. “I can’t do it,” I say. “I tried twice—”

Her hand squeezes me below the covers, but not as a lover. I moan in pain.

“Do it,” she orders. Seeing Jane roll over beside me, she taps my chin again and disappears.

Jane sighs. “Stella again?” she asks.

Great. My wife heard. “Yes.”

She moves closer. “It was worse this time, wasn’t it?”

I don’t need to answer. Jane kisses me gently.

“Honey,” she says, “why don’t you do what she says. Only in the sequel . . .”

“Yes?”

She giggles. “In it, you kill the bitch off.”

* * *

Being haunted by your own character is no fun. If Stella wants sequels, why doesn’t she take charge and sweep me along plot-wise like other authors’ characters do? Doesn’t she recognize writer’s block when she sees it?

Two days later, I enter the shower to find Stella waiting there for me.

“Look,” I say, “we have to stop meeting like this.”

Nude, she taps my chin. “Then you know what to do.”

* * *

After I dry off, I sit down and start Star Warrior again.

__________

* Originally published in The Write Room Blog, http://www.thewriteroomblog.com/?p=2193#comments

DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

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(Reprinted from The Write Room Blog, Sept. 30, 2015)

Okay, folks, here is a test. Leave a comment after you’ve read this post and tell me which of these five jokes are funny and humorous, and which are not. If you want to keep it simple, just write the number of the joke and Yes or No. If you want, you can explain your answer. Hey, here we go.

1. What has four legs and an arm? Answer: A happy pit bull.

2. A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and said, Bow-wow!” The cat ran away. “What was that, Father?” asked Baby Mouse. “Well, son, that’s why it’s important to learn a second language.” Submitted by BH LEE

3. Want to get people excited? Just put Alka-Seltzer in your mouth and pretend you’re possessed by the devil.

4. Whoever invented “Knock-Knock” jokes should get a no-bell prize.

5. A man walks into a bar with a small dog under his arm and sits down at the counter, placing the dog on the stool next to him. The bartender says, “Sorry, pal. No dogs allowed.” The man says, “But this is a special dog – he talks!” “Yeah, right,” says the bartender. “Now get out of here before I throw you out.” “No, wait,” says the man. “I’ll prove it.” He turns to the dog and asks, “What do you normally find on top of a house?” “Roof!” says the dog, wagging his tail. “Listen, pal…” says the bartender.” Wait,” says the man, “I’ll ask another question.” He turns to the dog again and asks, “What’s the opposite of soft?” “Ruff!” exclaims the dog. “Quit wasting my time and get out of here,” says the bartender. “One more chance,” pleads the man. Turning to the dog again, he asks, “Who was the greatest baseball player that ever lived?” “Ruth!” barks the dog. “Okay, that’s it!” says the bartender, and physically throws both man and dog out the door and onto the street. Turning to the man, the dogs shrugs and says, “Maybe I should have said Dimaggio?”

What are the correct answers? The point of course is that it’s hard to say because humor is often subjective, and we don’t agree on what’s funny. What’s a knee-snapper to one person is stupid, offensive, or simply pointless to another. What doubles up your Aunt Matilda in helpless mirth leaves your Uncle Walt unfazed. Whatever you do, though, be careful joking about politics or religion. I once pissed off a friend by telling a brief Mitt Romney joke.

What about dirty jokes—do you like them? Say, have you heard the one about the travelling salesman and the one-eyed whore? She… Naw, I better not tell it. Okay, do you know how to tell who’s a virgin in Virginia? (or supply your own state name). The answer: By her out-of-state license plate.

You don’t think the last joke is funny? In addition to it being flat, dumb, and in bad taste, it’s sexist, discriminatory against women. Perhaps you believe that jokes which offend people shouldn’t be published.

Well, I think people should be offended sometimes. Their feathers should be ruffled and even plucked clean off on occasion. I for one love some dirty jokes and those which are often politically incorrect. I love Aristophanes’ classic sexual comedy Lysistrata in which Grecian women go on a sex strike to stop the Peloponnesian War. However, there is a limit. For example, I just checked some jokes online about Jews, Blacks, and Catholics, and they are REALLY offensive, so you won’t see them here.

You see, I do have some taste.

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What about your writing? Your short stories and your novels, your biographies, essays, and poems? How far are you willing to go in using humor? What chances are you willing to take? Do all your jokes have to be “clean”? Perhaps if you write a book which doesn’t offend anyone, which only supports what is safe and acceptable, your book wasn’t worth writing in the first place.

Do you like jokes at your own expense? I do, as long as they aren’t mean-spirited and go too far. I like to poke fun at my unique dancing style, which causes my partners to duck and run for cover. We know that comedians sometimes deride themselves and find humor in their personal and painful experiences. If they came up the hard way in poverty, they may work it into their routines. As a comedian, Jack Benny depended largely on three self-deprecatory jokes: (1), he was always thirty-nine years old, (2) he was a notorious tightwad, and (3) he was a terrible violin player. I believe the last two are false.

We often use humor in satirical works to ridicule and correct human vices and follies. Vices are much worse than follies. They include such sins as greed, hypocrisy, and cruelty. Plus corrupt political and social systems. Think of Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels and A Modest Proposal. Orwell’s Animal Farm. The humor is sometimes biting and laser-sharp, as well as deliciously delicate, capable of eviscerating its targets without mussing their hair. In a presidential debate, Ronald Reagan once used a critical question concerning his advanced age to demolish his opponent. He said, “I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent’s youth and inexperience.” When Megyn Kelly recently said Donald Trump called women derogatory names like “fat pig” and “dog,” did he go too far when he said, “Only Rosie O’Donnell”? Bad taste or not, his interruption received the biggest laugh of the first Republican debate.

Have you ever watched the skits on Saturday Night Live which lampoon political and entertainment leaders? C’mon, you know you’ve howled at some of them, ignoring your better (and less interesting) nature. A guilty pleasure is still a pleasure, right?

Many jokes and cracks will offend somebody. Hell, they are meant to. As for you, Dear Reader, use your own judgment but be willing to take chances now and then. And if you are personally offended or attacked, try to live and let live. Above all, remember what Geoffrey Chaucer wrote concerning the brilliant but outrageous Miller’s narrative in The Canterbury Tales. Whatever you do, do not “maken earnest out of game.”

WELCOME MY GUEST, SAL BUTTACI — POET, WRITER, SONGWRITER AND MORE

I’m delighted to present Sal Buttaci, a most gifted and versatile poet, writer, songwriter, editor, teacher and more. Sal says that “Writing is what I do to stay happy, hopeful, young, and sane. In the company of my wonderful wife Sharon, I look at life as an adventure and a blessing.” For more on Sal, please click on FRIENDS in the menu above and then click on his name.  It will be well worth the trip.

ZZB.Wedding.Sal and Sharon.10.26.1996.3Our Wedding – Sal and Sharon Bateman, Oct. 26, 1996

 

ZZC.3Sharon and Sal..09.2005

WELCOME MY GUEST, KEN WEENE

My friend Ken Weene is a fascinating writer. He says he writes “to exorcise demons.”  If you want to know more about him and his writing, please check on “KEN WEENE” under “FRIENDS” in the menu above.  He provides a free story “Paradize” which deals with a contemporary problem and situation in a most unusual way.

ken sadie tableKen and Friend

SIX MIND-BLOWING BOOKS for #FREE or 99¢ with #KINDLEUNLIMITED!

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1. A MINGLING OF SOULS. – #Paranormal #Love #Obsession – What do you do when the women in your husband’s old love letters start to sing about their painful longing for him? – http://amzn.to/1K2SVGl

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4.. KILLERS – #Scifi – Editor’s Top Pick Award – Diana travels into the past to save the man she loves. – http://amzn.to/1SUUbP1 – #Time #Travel

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LAST DAY — SALE ENDS TOMORROW! THE TURTAN TRILOGY at Special Price

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Amazon:  http://amzn.to/1KGDu3X  Barnes and Noble:  http://bit.ly/1WTAZ5Ygoodreads_icon_50x50-823139ec9dc84278d3863007486ae0ac  MuseItUp:  http://bit.ly/1LCbW49  Kobo:  http://bit.ly/1LROuLT

 

      My novel The Merry-Go-Round Man has been nominated for Best Novel in the Killer Nashville Silver Falchion Awards. Readers can vote for it until Oct. 28, using the Literary Mystery / Suspense / Thriller Button.  Here is the link to cut and paste. Thank you.   http://www.killernashville.com/vote-for-the-silver-falchion….

themerrygoroundman

 

AWARDS – Would you leave your wife if she got a strange disease and everyone feared and shunned her?  If she began to change?  (The Blue of Her Hair, the Gold of Her Eyes).

Killers-Award

The winner of Preditor & Editors 2010 Readers Poll for best SF/Fantasy short story.          Diana goes into  the past to save the man she loves in  “Killers.”  Is he worth it?                                                          (Both are available on Amazon, etc.)

allbookreviewsAward 2009 – For Beyond Those Distant Stars (SF Adventure) 

Alien invaders have almost destroyed humanity.  Stella McMasters yearns to get in the war but knows she’ll never get a chance.  Or will she?

WINNER OF TREACLE PRESS’S (NOW McPHERSON AND COMPANY’S) FIRST NOVEL AWARD, 1982.  A White Teacher in a small, black College.

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In some of my novels such as Kingdom of the Jax and Beyond Those Distant Stars, spaceships go down or through a BLACK HOLE  or naked singularity.  Watch out, readers, the trip is R-O-U-G-H!!!

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DEFENDER OF THE FLAME

Book 3 of my Inspector of the Cross SF Action-Adventure series completes the Turtan Trilogy.

  Turtan returns home after 4000 years, and all HELL breaks loose! 

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ONE CLICK PURCHASE:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00QSSMQ82/ref=sr_1_1?

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Turtan Defends the Flame of Hope against the alien menace.

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The first chapter begins . . .

     How do you make love to two women at the same time?

     He’d done it before, of course, during dissolute, drug-crazed orgies after a century or longer mission. When loneliness for female company filled him with a great hunger and he’d go mad if he didn’t know another’s passionate, even lecherous embrace.  Whatever their appearance, these women had shared one trait in common.

     All of them had possessed separate, distinct bodies that went their own way when the lovemaking was over.

     Such was not true with his wife Yaneta and Kit Killer. 

Blurb:

Escaping the enemy-infested mine on Lauren with his wife Kit/Yani and Sky,

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Turtan flies toward the First Station where he graduated four thousand years before.   Using Radiants, intelligent submicroorgan-isms in his brain, he hopes to train cadets to defeat the Cen and ultimately win the war. On the way to achieving this goal, however, he encounters serious problems. First, after passing through Atlas, a black hole, they enter a new or unknown part of the universe with no clear way back.

When they do manage to reach the First Station, Turtan not only finds love and
adoration, but a cruel killer.

And everywhere he finds dark secrets, betrayal, and worst of all…FAILURE as again and again his efforts to train cadets result in tragedy.

It seems there is no hope for humanity and we are doomed. Can’t anything save us at all?

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